Dropped as a baby

A long long time ago, in a country far far away. The evil Emperor has commissioned an Army of clones that will help to ensure his security in the afterlife. Impossibly tall (for the time), 1.80m statues will be constructed in the thousands, along with weapons, horses and armour to be placed underground for precisely no one to see, never to be heard of again and a complete waste of time. That is, had a farmer not randomly discovered it all. The government moved in swiftly to construct a site of tat shops to dodge, restaurants and cafes to ignore and tourists the world over to drool over.

In all honesty the Teracotta Warriors has thus far made for the most interesting excursion in China. With three pits of varying size, there’s at least a few hours of visiting time on offer – more if you can manage some pictures in the deliberately dimly lit and tripod-banned areas. It reminds me of the salty peanuts in pubs ploy – it keeps the punters coming after all. Good thing that pits 2 and 3 offer convenient shelves for propping camera up then, so that long exposures are facilitated. Either way you look at it though, other than giving the people something to do with their lives rather than start wars or have babies, let’s be honest this is utter madness; the evil Emporer must have been dropped as a baby.


Head to the museum offering plenty to view and realise shortly after entering that – much like everything in China – it’s all replicas, copies and fakes. I’d prefer to watch the excavation work in progress and see how they go about extracting the pottery from the now mainly collapsed holding cells. It’s a shame to see that they’re about as hard-working as British road-workers, with too many people standing around twiddling thumbs, but getting paid nonetheless.


I suggest spending more time in the city; once you’ve succeeded in avoiding all the numerous tourist traps and con-artists roaming the street. The 14K wall that surrounds the old city is more-or-less a perfect square, though in incredible humidity it’s not something I fancy running, so I’ll rent a bicycle for the tour instead. With 100 minutes to circumnavigate and a 5Y chargeable for every additional 5 minutes, you’d better get a move on; but it does make for some interesting sights and a relaxing jaunt.

It’s a fairly modern city, which I can’t help but feel has benefitted from such a large tourist-drawing attraction. Whilst not worth sleeping on the floor for fourteen hours to visit, there are plenty of shopping opportunities and other sights, such as the bell towers and “Muslim” street. Plenty of tat for sale there if you want to fill any gaps remaining in your bag. Come the evening and head toward the south gate, finding the main drinking street for all to enjoy a beer or nine whilst watching the Football and neglecting to converse. Most require a minimum purchase of bottles, drinks or coinage paid up front so be prepared to pay what ended up being London prices for Tsingtao; bargain.