Lapped courses are a chore

Shopping is reserved for the opposite gender. I’m supposed to be travelling and visiting cultural hotspots around the world, not spending time in shopping malls replacing stolen goods. This is positively excruciating and I feel dizzy at the thought of doing anymore, whilst I’m sat typing this; in a coffee shop, on my laptop, using wireless to upload photos, people watching. Ugh, I’ve become a mixture of Type IIIa and I! And I feel contaminated, effeminate almost. I need to wrestle a Lion in order to restore some semblance of masculinity. Needs must, annoyingly, and with few clothes and inadequate luggage I’m over a barrel, biting a bullet without the luxury of shopping online.

It’s not all bad though, as I’ve the opportunity to attempt a run around Bangkok. It truly is a joy to be back here and even the Tuk Tuk broken-records make me smile. Finding Lumphini Park, it’s half past six in the morning and still not early enough to enjoy a cool jog. Perhaps the sheer quantity of exhaust units pushing out extracted hot air from the air-conditioners contribute to the ambient humidity of Bangkok, as looking around I see few runners. The majority are taking Tai Chi classes or simply walking. Come on, up the ante, get those legs moving!

Thus far, I’ve spent the previous three days in the Siam complex, Center World and Pantip Plaza. All of which rival, or arguably trump anything that London has to offer, whilst maintaining street food-pricing across the majority of restaurants and cafés. Siam is a Mecca for the affluent Thai; who strut in transparent stilettos, pierce your glance with colour-changing contact lenses and don skirts short enough to cause every farang – whether single or not – to turn, stare and pant in their general direction. It’s the stuff of jealous girlfriend’s nightmares; lock up your bunny, for it may be in risk of a boiling. Centre World is more akin to the Bentalls centre, featuring a vast array of branded shops and eateries, where school kids mingle at lunch time enjoying their favourite Japanese sushi, as it passes by on conveyer belt. And finally, Pantip Plaza holds a perpetual Expo of tech geekery, that would make your average 1337 |\|00|3 pulsate and squirm uncontrollably in excitement. Bring some tissues or a sock, it could get messy.

Looking down I notice distance markers at 100 metre intervals, and cross-checking with my watch, they tally up nicely. It’s a 2.543 kilometre lap and though I feel drained of any inclination to move, let alone physically exert myself any further, it takes all the will I can muster to go around again. I despise lapped courses; seeing the markers of the second lap makes you pine for the finish line and concentrate less on the task at hand. I’m a determined little sod though, and I’ll stick it out, or drop trying. Finishing, I realise that I’ve only just broken through the 5K marker. Unacceptable, must do better; I’ll be coming back to retry for a three or four lap monotony.

Having completed my shopping chores, so it is that I have a further recommendation; save yourself the back and shoulder pain and bring a wheeled suitcase. Backpacks really are an affectation; there’s no need to have a 50, 70 or 90 litre monstrosity buckled to your frame, so tightly, that your excesses spill over each strap. Unless of course you plan on hiking with it – you won’t be walking very far to the accommodation and most roads are happy to receive your luggage wheels. Brilliant, I’ve stumbled on a sport shop – and they have running apparel – this is my Mecca.