Traveller Stereotypes – Type IIIs

The backpacker is dead. Long live the “flashpacker”. The only category to be sub-divided underwent serious analysis and debate, before settling on just two types. The first of which are usually called “Mercedes”, hail from Chicago and have a vocabulary consisting of the following words: Like, totally, awesome, dude, right. There’s a sentence right there, totally.

Generally female, though occasionally including males that dare to step in to the limelight, Type IIIa includes a cross-section of middle-class that could easily be mistaken for the cast of “Dawson’s Creek” or “Hollyoaks”.

They’re relatively easy to spot. It’s the ones that desperately try to fit in by ordering from a street food vendor; but with the most basic dish, spend the rest of the evening picking at it in an attempt to extract what they consider edible. Like Mice, they are caught in every Tourist trap laid in front of them; taking naff pictures with their point-and-shoot Sony Digicam, to be later posted on Facebook in an attempt to extract jealous comments from friends.

Spoiled rotten, they are speechless when told that Daddy’s Amex card is not accepted. Trying to convert between US dollars and Thai Baht is like Quantum Mechanics to these people. 30 Baht to a Dollar? It’s not like working out the wavefunction of a particle in a box my dear, it’s simple “math”.

Probably best you stay at home. Whilst they want to see culture, as Type IIIas head straight for the nearest Starbucks, they’re easy to find. Follow the smell of outrageously overpriced and glorified Coffee. Soon you will spot the herd, sat with their Skinny Grande Americano Tazo, nonfat milk, whipped cream and Blueberry muffin, reading Lonely Planet.

I am ashamed to admit that I fit in to the next sub-category. Were it not for the advent of technology – pictures, blogs, email and facebook would all have to be sidelined for good old-fashioned reading.

We are the techie flashpacking generation. Whilst IIIas enjoy spending someone elses money, IIIbs spend their own. Having decided for whatever reason to take a break from work, it’s savings that fund our travels. The overnight sleeper or VIP Bus is full of us; couples sit and tap away on their Eee PCs, whilst others view their copy of Lonely Planet on their eReader. We are truly lost without WiFi and seek it out like bargain-hunting biddies in a Pound Shop.

Our flip flops are not the kind purchased at a stall, instead they’re North Face and cost more than a week’s accommodation here. Clothes are expensive wicking sportswear; leggings for the women and lined shorts for the men. Taking clothes to a Laundrette and losing a pair of Mizuno running shorts causes pandemonium; where on earth is the nearest Running shop in Chiang Rai?

From 02 Feb 2010