You know my methods, Watson

I’d like to begin a narrative which promises to be one of the most singular which I have ever written. The simple facts are these: At 7:18pm having strolled outside my Bungalow in order to capture some night time exposures, my sister had also left her own habitation in order to question my plans for the evening. In responding, I glanced at my watch and noticing the time, responded that around ‘half an hour’ would suffice in order to complete my work. Strolling around the area with my camera mounted on tripod and its rear display shining brightly in the dark of night, three of the kitchen ladies noticed me and reported to one of the attendants. Finding and speaking with me, he asked what I was doing and I replied accordingly. Shortly after 8 o’clock, I knocked on my sister’s Bungalow and we departed to find suitable dwellings for a meal. Returning exactly two hours later, having agreed to relieve the burdens of our bags in order to continue the merriment, I was shocked to see the bolt on the rear door of my Bungalow forced open, though it is difficult to say whether it was pulled or pushed.

From 07 Feb 2010

My bag has two points of ingress, both with a zip-locking facility and containing 3-digit padlocks. In hindsight, I do recall questioning the position of both the zips and the bag itself several times, returning after the cleaning ladies had finished their morning rounds, though at the time did not think much of the matter. In any case, on locating one of these zips on the floor and noticing the black lacquer scraped away on either side; it seems clear that a cutting tool was used for removal. Having relieved some items whilst searching the bag, and carefully placing them on top of the fridge – which is inside a cupboard – it is clear that the thieves had enough time to contemplate their crime and also knowledge of the Bungalow interior. This suggests a lookout on post, most likely the security guard covering the gate. Leaving several condoms and other useless trinkets that I had collected along my way in Laos, it is obvious that the perpetrator was not a heartless one – considering my sex life whilst stealing my belongings.

From 08 Feb 2010

Examining the barbed fencing to the rear the following morning, and finding gaps underneath large enough for slender children to fit through, leads me to the inference that this was the point of egress; taking flight across the large field to the West and over the nearby stream so as to cover any tracks.

Having thoroughly questioned all of the English speaking staff over the course of the evening and furthermore the following morning, I shall endeavour to draw conclusion from their statements and the evidence as it was presented to me. The enemy’s lines are drawn with the cleaning ladies; either taking small denominations of notes from unsuspecting wallets or tipping off third parties, and taking an inevitable cut of the loot. I infer this from a second theft, in the same morning as mine of a wallet, occurring within a thirty minute window of the owner departing for breakfast, and noticing a cleaning lady glance hesitantly at her. Having tried twice to remove my combination locks subtly and seeing my camera in the evening, it was decided that more drastic action was necessary. Furthermore on hearing of my intention to leave the following morning, the security guard monitoring the entrance gate, being part of the plot, suggested the same evening to act.

From 07 Feb 2010

It is likely, though impossible to tell without more clear and definable facts, that one or more of the remaining Bungalow staff were fellow conspirators, however, the owners having recently replaced the staff in its entirety, would have been most unlucky to have recruited a second complement of thieves. Indeed, the longest serving member of staff was reserved when this refresh occurred, and mentioned that the cleaning ladies were responsible previously. He was further puzzled as to why the Manager – a local – refused to question them. There is clear reasoning for this, however, being first in line for sacrifice and wishing to retain employment.

Presently, I am waiting for transit to Vientiene, where my police report will assist the Australian embassy in issuing an emergency Passport. This will likely be a lengthy process and involve all manner of bureaucracy until return to Bangkok, where a full UK Passport can be sent via post to the Embassy. Do not under any circumstances stay in Cocoon Bungalows, Vang Vieng.

From 08 Feb 2010