As a child it was cute and funny, appealing to my immaturity. As an adult, it seemed strange, warped and exploitative. Either way, Disney clearly visited Thailand and after some presumably strong hallucinogenic, bumped in to this; giving them an idea for a smash-hit movie.
Arriving in Chiang Mai, having taken my third and final overnight sleeper train, my scepticism immediately starts to evaporate and I relax. Leaving Bangkok was a joy, and with my new habitat feeling similar, yet less crowded and more peaceful; I’m allowed to fall back in love with Thailand.
Much like the giant rats here, the tuk tuks still infect the roads; although calling out to punters in a more jovial manner. There’s more to do here: The Zoo has pandas, the night safari is like a Jurassic Park theme-ride around landscaped national park, Jungle flight offers zip-lining through the trees with the gibbons for company and I’m now only a short distance from the Golden Triangle. That’ll be my next stop from Chiang Rai – for now, I’m content to run around the square.
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I’ve never seen the point in CamelBaks – 10K in the height of UK Summer is perfectly achievable without additional water. Out here, I’m quite mistaken. Hydrated and feeling the water glug around in my stomach as I pound the streets, I feel for my shorts pocket to check for my inhaler. Running around the South Bank in London necessitates carrying it – here it is redundant. Have I found a location-based cure for Asthma, perhaps? A lap is more than enough and with a heart rate suggesting I’m seriously dehydrated; I’m quite glad to arrive back at the hotel.
Toward the centre of the town square, I am surrounded on all sides by Wats, each displaying their various Buddha images. The adage is true, however, and I’m beginning to tire of these cash-cows. My previous bout of cynicism is instantly restored, as I enter yet another room full of statues. The burning incense stifles breathing – what is there to take pictures of here? Yawning, I notice a difference; there’s some new and intriguing ways to worship.
Unfortunately, there’s only 10 images rather than the typical 12 I’m used to. Unsure which is mine, I’m overwhelmingly disappointed that I’m unable to pay my respects.
My final Wat for the day is adorned with various tacky statues – if someone was to lay some green and drill a few holes, it’d make a perfect mini-golf course. The temple has a Westerner praying inside – the first I’ve seen. Is this staged, have I walked in to a dressed rehearsal? Welcome to Disney Land, Chiang Mai.
Realistically, the next temple I’m keen to see is Angkor Wat. Instead, I’m convinced to take a boat trip along the river. It’s an expensive ride, and a little sad that Wikipedia has more information than our guide of 70. Though asking for a refund in Thailand is as futile as the Borg’s attitude to resistance. Enjoying the sublime “Mango with sticky rice” at the stop-off, I’ve a family of Chickens for company.
Strolling back, the night bazaar is awakening for business. The food stalls alone are as impressive in their sheer volume of stock, as they are in frequency of flies. Varying in size from the diminutive fruit, to giant pregnant blue bottles, it seems clear that Thai resistance to contaminants must be far higher than mine. Suffice to say, I shan’t be making any purchases here.
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