Opening Pandora’s box

I’m not a big cinema goer, preferring instead to simply queue torrents up and watch at my leisure. It turns out Thais take their cinema seriously, and for this price I was expecting something special for my admission fee. Ironically spending the most for a ticket in my life, where I’ve equally been spending the least for everything else, £16 to see Avatar in pure luxury was worth every penny.

The contrast of this place is so stark, when compared to Khaosan road street stalls. It’s a 5K drive in to Downtown, where slums have been erased and the shopping mall experience rivals Las Vegas. Five pounds for popcorn – one pound for a can of Coke? Someone is profiting very heavily here.

From 17 Jan 2010

Looking around, I need to shield my eyes with sunglasses, as the abundance of lighting and highly reflective, spotless marble flooring is too forgiving to reflections. As soon as popcorn dares to deface the pristine tiling, a cleaner appears hot on its trail, armed with dustpan and brush. The litter stands little chance; there’s an army of workers tirelessly maintaining the Paragon Cineplex.

From 17 Jan 2010

This city area seems immature to me, like it’s been rushed through puberty and the stretch marks are still apparent through the growing pains. Around the corner, street vendors desperately cling to business, whilst a new class of well-to-do Thais strut in Armani clothing costing more than an average month’s salary – giggling as they discuss the latest fashion.

Walking in to the cinema, there’s only 24 seats. This is opulent viewing; gluttony even. My chair fully reclines electronically; the leather is soft and smooth. I’m lavished with a free box of sweets, a pillow and a blanket; should the air-conditioning become too much. As the trailers roll before the main event, suddenly an image appears asking the audience to “stand in appreciation of His Majesty”. MTV-style shot clips are played of rice farmers smiling as they while away the hours earning a pittance, school children playing joyfully and uniformed women bowing to the camera. The soundtrack is the national anthem – this is propaganda that Goebbels would be proud of.

From 17 Jan 2010

It’s an amazing cinema experience, however, and I feel compelled to write a brief review.

Avatar (7/10)

If I was Native American, I’d be insulted. The best Sci-Fi takes a very real issue and uses an improbable setting to tell a story of humanity. With a film like District 9, there is no happy ending – and that’s about right; humans tend to have a way of wrecking everything they touch. That’s what made it so compelling. In American history, however, the native people didn’t win, they didn’t drive the invading Europeans out, keep their land and balance with nature. They got unrepentantly annihilated. And the fact that this film uses language, dress, beliefs and rituals that are akin to them (and other Aboriginals for that matter), I find distinctly patronising.

The story-telling is excellent for Sci-Fi (but average overall), though some of the dialogue of our main protagonist Jake Sully is questionable – “hooyah” may be grand for US soldiers, but to anyone else it sounds positively embarrassing. Sigourney Weaver is excellent, as is Stephen Lang as the typical, heavily clichéd black to the Na’vi’s white. The effects are indeed mightily impressive, though at times I was left wanting for a fully rendered cutscene to end, and some more dialogue to occur.

Watch this film in a cinema – it won’t translate to a small screen well. You really do need the bass to shake your chest cavity, or it’ll all seem like computer-generated tedium. As the credits roll, the worst chosen song in history ruins what could have been a fairly good ending. And leaving the cinema I felt somewhat disheartened – I only wish history had played out the same way as the film.