Vampitos

I’m not on the blood donor list, but at this rate I may as well be. It’s just unfortunate that the litres I’ve presumably lost over the last month have gone to waste aiding pointless, inept flying insects procreate. Being privy to the process by which you are anaesthetised, impaled and tapped was a little shocking.

I’m sat typing thoughts in my Guest House and whilst waiting for the moped rental woman, have just compacted several rather large Mosquitos between my palms. There goes another, by the window. Quick you must be; their flight pattern is utterly random. And I missed it. I should probably start using my Deet spray to ward off these demons.

The culprit in question was caught sucking my toe on exit from a cave whilst sea kayaking. Having had its fill, the abdomen was swollen red with claret. “Little sod!” I yelled, swatting the miniature Vampire from my foot. On impact causing it to explode; my foot was sprayed and covered in the blood it had siphoned. This was a greedy little blighter; just a drink and it’d have gotten away.

A high pitched buzzing noise violently startles me from slumber. Fly-bys close to ears; it’s like they’re taking the piss. What defence is there against this constant onslaught; I must purchase an electrocution racquet and take the fight to them. Deet spray indeed works well as a repellent; but miss a section of your body and the Vampitos will eventually track it down like a proverbial bloodhound.

Looking around my room I can see the remnants of sole markings. Previous tenants have fought them on the ceilings, called in the cavalry on the walls and there are the remains of the aftermath everywhere. There is no DMZ here; it’s a boundless front-line and I’m an inflamed, itchy casualty of war.